


Pain Leads To Love

by charxjay



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: ANGST IS MY LIFE SOURCE, Canonical Character Death, M/M, Minor Mentions of Izzy/Clary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:37:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9233459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charxjay/pseuds/charxjay
Summary: Soulmate AU, where the other can feel the other's pain and can't breath when they die.Simon had died, and it left Jace breathless and it made him figure out just exactly who is soulmate is





	

It was weird, knowing that someone, _somewhere_ out there was your soulmate. To know that _they_ felt whatever pain _you_ felt. It was _never_ on the same scale that _you_ experienced, everyone knew that. It just felt like an echo of pain, and it was _worse_ when your soulmate _died_. No one ever wanted to be the one on the other end of it because it left the other _breathless_.

Jace never believed he really had a soulmate because he never felt any other pain other than that of his own. Maybe that _was_ a good thing though because of some of the things he’s had to do and injuries he’s had as a result but…then there was one night when he became absolutely _breathless_ , his throat had tightened and he had to grab onto the nearest person or thing to hold himself up. Clary was next to him, and her tight grip matched that off his on her. He felt sorry for who her soulmate was because he _knew_ his grip was going to be _tight_ and _painful_ it was sure to leave an echo upon her match.

“Jace!” Clary exclaimed as she brought him to a chair, out of the corner of his eyes he could barely see Izzy next to Clary as he sat down in the chair. He was gasping for breath, trying to get in _some_ air into them but it was growing harder by the second, causing him to close his eyes shut as if it would help.

It was a minute or two before he could _finally_ breathe again and he could feel eyes on him, slowly, he opened his eyes and noticed as Clary, Izzy and Alec had gathered around him. Their eyes filled with concern as they looked him over. Taking in a few deep breaths he stood up, pushing past everyone, he needed get away from everyone’s lingering eyes because everyone knows what _it_ means for that to happen and he felt _sick_ because that meant that…he really now does have _no soulmate_. He was destined to be alone. He gathered his thoughts in his room before deciding to go back into the Institute and stick himself in some work to _forget_ about it so when the Institutes alarms went off he was _happy_ that something was coming to distract him. He went with Izzy and Alec out the door, knowing Clary was on their tail. What came out of the shadows was _not_ something he or the others had been expecting. Clary’s words said it, and then they were getting Raphael and Simon into the Institute without drawing attention to themselves.

It was a _long_ day, waiting for Clary’s decision; he had gone with her to Simon’s home. Some part of him, was blaming himself for _not_ pursuing what he thought was _happening_ with the now dead mundane. He could have _said_ something but, something in him just wouldn’t allow it. It was when he went back to the Institute that he realised that the _heavy_ feeling he was feeling the whole time since he couldn’t breathe had _gone_ , almost as if he had another soulmate but his brain moved as quickly as his mouth’s quick remarks and he _know_ who it is. But, he keeps it quiet and _doesn’t_ say a single thing as he continues on as if he didn’t know.

* * *

 

He went with his so called _father_ to protect those he cared about, he never wanted to see them hurt, so he accepted Valentine’s offer but when the _beatings_ come he wishes he _hadn’t_. Not for himself, because he can take them, he **wills** himself to be able to take the punches because he thinks that if it _doesn’t_ hurt me that much, maybe _he_ won’t feel them. That if thinks of the pain as nothing, that _he_ won’t feel any of it because he couldn’t bear the thought of knowing that someone was hurting because of him.

* * *

 

They were running, running towards where Jace was. The conversation that he and Clary had before _running_ through his mind as he next to her, trying to figure if what she said was _true_.

_“I **really** wish my soulmate would stop getting into fights.” Simon said as pain racked its way through his body, feeling as if he was being used as a punching bag._

_Clary gave a light laugh, like she knew something he didn’t and it made him raise an eyebrow at her. “I don’t think he can control it.”_

_The statement she said did **nothing** to make him less confused, in fact it only served to confuse him even more. “What do mean Clary? How can _ you _know who my soulmate is but not me?”_

 _“Because I was with him when you **died**. Saw him _ lose _his breath Simon, it was horrible seeing that. I never want to put Izzy through that, or lose her. We didn’t know it was_ you _until well Raphael showed up with you and then, things just_ started to click _. But we didn’t confront him about it and_ maybe _it was a coincidence that you show up dead after Jace-“_

_“Jace? Jace is **my** soulmate? No, I think it was just a coincidence, it had to be. He hates me.”_

Since then, his mind has been trying to think of why it _isn’t_ Jace but nothing comes up. So when Clary tells him to run faster, he gets in a reply of “ _I’m a vampire, I’m running **slow** for you.” _ Before he’s using his speed to rush to Jace, as he’s rushing he could have sworn that he saw Jocelyn was setting up a crossbow. It was quick, moving Jace away from Valentine. Simon had wrapped his arms around Jace’s waist as he pulled him in the direction he had come from and a safe distance away from the evil man.

Then the next thing he knew an arrow flew its way towards Jace, anger seared through Simon and his hand instinctively went and grabbed hold of the arrow as it flew towards them. He bared his fangs, letting out a hiss, dropping the arrow to the ground as it burnt his hand. In the corner of his hand he saw that Jace had clenched his right hand, the one _Simon_ had caught the arrow with and that caused him to _step_ in front of Jace.

“Simon you don’t know what you’re doing.” Jocelyn spoke as she stepped closer, notching another arrow onto the crossbow.

Clary had finally caught up and was walking towards Simon, a little smile produced on his lips. “Mum, how could you!”

“You don’t understand Clary.” Her mother spoke, lowering the crossbow as both Simon and Clary stood in front of Jace. “You don’t understand what Valentine did to him.”

“I made him _better_.” Valentine’s voice spoke, stepping close to Jocelyn giving her a smile. “It’s good to see you awake darling. One day you will come to your sense and join me and our son Jonathan, as will Clary.”

“No way in hell are you taking _any_ of them.” Simon snarled towards the man who just looked at him with an amused smile. It made Simon him even _angrier_.

“Are you going to hide behind a _Downworlder_ for protection Jonathan? What will it be worth when he’s let his demonic side out? Better to just kill him _now_ Jonathan.”

“Don’t _talk_ to him, I’m not the one with a _demonic side_ , **you** are. You fucking asshole, beating the _crap o-“_

“Simon! Just take Jace and go.” Clary cut him off, and she was probably right to do so because if Simon went on he would most likely reveal things that wouldn’t end well for _either_ of them. So he did as he was told, lifting Jace over his shoulder before he sped off. He didn’t know where to go, the Institute wouldn’t welcome him, nor would it welcome Jace not when they think he’s a _traitor_. He couldn’t go to the Hotel Dumort, and Jade Wolf didn’t really seem an option without Luke with him. He _could_ try Magnus, because Magnus would have protections against finding them and so that is where he ends up going.

* * *

 

Honestly he was _tired_ from everything, and Simon’s speed didn’t help at all. Sure, he had some speed of his own, but not compared to that of a vampire. So, when they reached Magnus’ and he was put down on the couch he passed out immediately. When he came back around he could hear voices, they seemed to be arguing.

“I _know_ the Clave wants his head. Clary told me, I won’t let them have him if they’re just going to put him away for _protecting us_.” Simon’s voice was a hushed harsh tone; like he didn’t want to wake up…Jace assumed would be him.

“This is _not_ your decision Simon; can’t protect your soulmate all the time. Not from this.” Alec’s voice was an equal volume to Simon’s. Wait? How did Alec know that? Jace never told anyone; did Simon figure it out and tell everyone?

“What? Did _everyone_ know that he was my soulmate and _not_ bother to tell me? What is _wrong_ with you people? Only telling me when _he was in danger_. You Shadowhunters ne-” Simon was cut off when he looked over to Jace and saw him awake.

Jace gave them a smile, and knew by the looks on their faces that they knew it wasn’t real. Who would believe a _real_ smile would grace his face ever again? Because he’s sure he won’t believe it himself. He pushed himself up into a sitting position. Alec walked over to him, handing him a glass of water and Simon seemed to walk out of the room. Jace took it gingerly, holding the glass between his hands that have done unspeakable things, things he would rather _forget_. “Alec?” Jace questioned, when the man in question looked at him the blond continued on. “How do you know that?”

“Know what?” Alec questioned, a puzzled look glossing over his features.

“I never told anyone that Simon is my soulmate. I…I kept it hidden.” Jace spoke, trying not to let his voice _crack_ because it wanted to break, and if it did there was a storm of a broken boy lying beneath it and he it will come in strong.

“Izzy and Clary figured it out after Simon turned, and I figured it out on my wedding. We thought that you didn’t realise so we didn’t say anything. Not to you or Simon.” Alec admitted, his eyes looking down to the ground for a second before looking at Jace before he pulled him into a hug. Jace feeling the embrace, wrapped his arms around Alec in return, he sucked in a deep breath because he _never_ thought that he would be able to _ever_ feel his **parabatai** in a hug, or see him again. The moment he stepped through the portal was the _day_ he lost all hope of ever seeing _any_ of their faces, and _still_ be the same boy he was before. Alec pulled away, standing himself up straight. “I think you and Simon need to have a talk. Magnus said he will allow you to stay here for one more night but -”

“I’ll hand myself over to the Institute. I promise. I want to get this over with.”

“I’ll see you later; I have to go back to the Institute.” And with that, Alec left the apartment and Jace downed the water in his hands.

He lowered his head, trying to collect his thoughts as they started to race through his mind, a million at a time. It was silent for a while, maybe Simon left and honestly, Jace wouldn’t blame him who would want to be his soulmate.

“How long have you known about _us_?” The voice broke the silence and Jace couldn’t bear to look up at see whatever would be clouding over the vampire’s face.

“Since…” Jace sucks in a deep breath and pulled at his sleeves. He really didn’t want to answer the question, and his words, they _failed_ him. Silence started to form once again, and then next thing he knew he felt a hand, no _Simon’s_ hand lift his chin up as the other wrapped around his wrist. The gentleness of the touch almost broke Jace but he sucked in another deep breath but still he couldn’t finish the answer.

“Jace? Please…” The words ever so gentle as the fall past Simon’s lips.

“When you died, that was when I knew. I didn’t know right away, I realised it once you were…I would say alive again but that’s not true because you’re _not_ alive, you’re undead but the connection still works. It-”

“Since when did _you_ ramble? I believe that is _my_ job.” It was light hearted, it was playful but he doesn’t know what it was but it sent some kind of rock tumbling and there was no stopping the storm.

“Sorry...I’m sorry.” Shadaowhunters don’t apologise, but he can’t stop the words from falling out of his mouth as tears start to form in his eyes. They start to fall down his face when he feels Simon wrap his arms around him; he buried his head into his soulmate’s neck. The storm was here and it was heavy. Lots of tears and heavy sobbing as Simon just _held_ him, and rubbed his hand soothingly against his back. The motion telling him that _someone_ cares for him, that someone _loves_ him and he just lets go of the restraints he had on the storm. Letting it run its course.  

Once the storm died down, Jace pulled away from Simon, and Simon raised one of his hands, using it to wipe away the tears stain’s off of the Shadowhunter’s face. He didn’t pull his hand away, no it rested against Jace’s cheek and the blond lent into the touch. “I’m sorry Simon.”

“It’s okay, but please next time you go off on an adventure make sure it’s with someone _fun_.”

A light laugh left Jace’s lips and he gave a small shake of his head, he just couldn’t understand it, “How can you _still_ have a sense of humour after what has happened? After everything, you _still_ always manage to have it.”

“Because it’s who I am. It is part of how I cope with things, or try to help make things a bit _lighter_. I don’t like seeing anyone I care about upset. I do what I can to change that fact. Whether it is by cracking a joke, or letting them let it all out and being there for them.” There was a little smile upon his lips as he looked at Jace, his thumb rubbing softly against the blond’s jaw line.

“I love you.” Jace whispered before he leant in, it was slow like he was asking for permission to close the gap and it was granted by Simon who leant in to meet Jace’s lips. The kiss was _soft_ and delicate like they didn’t want to break the other. Jace’s hand moved to rest itself upon Simon’s cheek and he used it to bring Simon closer. When Jace pulled away from the kiss, he rested his forehead against Simon’s, their noses touching ever just so slightly so that when Jace spoke his words ghosted over Simon’s lips. “I love you Simon.”

“I love you too.” Simon replied as he leant in for another kiss, smiling into Jace couldn’t believe it. He _did_ have a soulmate, and he was sitting right in front of him, and they were kissing. It made him start to think that he can finally _truly_ end up happy.

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea from tumblr, but also because I have a pain in my foot and i'm not sure where it's from.


End file.
